The Small Glass Approach

Saturdays have a way of slipping away too quickly or should I say "sipping" away? I probably shouldn't say "sipping away" because that's just the sort of stupid pun-ridden writing that would make someone like me stop reading this blog, and I want people like me to read this blog. So, forgive me for that and stick with this a bit longer.

I woke up at 7:30 this morning to go sit in my favorite chair surrounded by coffee, books, magazines, laptop, iTunes and big plans.

One hour in, on an innocent trip to the refrigerator to get a glass of juice, I noticed I had a bottle of Lindeman's Kriek (cherry) Lambic.

I was ready to take the bottle back to the little area of heaven I'd carved out for myself in the front room, when I realized it was a defining moment in my day. If I took the whole bottle with me, I'd sit there and drink the whole bottle. Then I'd be kind of lit up and the productive day I had planned would instead be a day spent indulging my basest drunken whims. Just so you know, I'm not against indulging my basest drunken whims, it's just that none of my basest drunken whims have ever resulted in a clean house.

Anyway, I decided to try the Small Glass Approach. The Small Glass Approach, or SGA, is an approach developed by me, in my kitchen, about two hours ago. The thought is that if I fill a small glass with cherry lambic goodness and take it to the living room with me, I will at least need to get up to get more, at which time I can reassess my situation. Do I really want to drink more? Do I really want to sit down again or is it time to get going?

To find the answer to those questions, please see picture of empty bottle of kriek lambic above sitting next to the smallish glass. I went to the Lindamen's web site to learn a little more about this stuff:

• It also comes in pomme (apple), framboise (raspberry), cassis (black currents), and peche (peach).
• I've tried them all and kriek (cherry) is my favorite.
• I served it in a smallish glass but it should typically be served in a tall pretty glass.
• It's got a pretty low alcohol content.

So, maybe I'll be able to get this house cleaned up after all. . . or, I could go buy another bottle and then hire a housekeeper on a drunken whim. Have a great Saturday.

Alpine Swag

Today was a foggy dreary day. I decided to stop in at the Alpine Tap Room after work for a drink or five.

I was drinking Old Style from a can and talking about the Cubs with Gunner, Larry and Dean when the Coors Light truck arrived. Dean asked Matt the beer guy if he had anything for us. And young Matt came through big.

He brought us three bottles of the new flavors of Mike's Hard Lemonade. The new margarita line includes peach, classic margarita, and raspberry flavors. He also brought us Miller High Life koozies, Miller Light rings that light up, and Coors Light/bottle opener key chains. It was like getting a swag bag as a presenter at the Alcoholic Academy Awards.

We taste tested the Mike's. I felt the peach flavor had a body odor aftertaste. Dean dumped the peach out. Larry hated it, so he drank it first to get it out of the way.

We liked the margarita flavor just fine, but the raspberry was our favorite. It reminded Larry of Sun Country Wine Coolers. I thought it tasted like Zotz candy. Other than the fact that it was free, the best part of drinking sugary malt liquor drinks in the afternoon was it made me feel like spring is finally here.

To summarize, stopping for drinks after work is always a good idea; asking the beer guy for free stuff is always a good idea. Oh, and I'm back.

Punch Drunk Love

My husband and I are celebrating our five-year wedding anniversary this week. Anniversaries are a great excuse to buy champagne and drink out of fancy glasses. 

Since we were camping on our actual anniversary, I didn't serve our Sofia Blanc de Blancs out of the awesome Waterford toasting glasses my friend Amy bought us as a wedding gift, but rather we had it in IKEA champagne flutes with our breakfast of campfire-cooked eggs and bacon. 

We toasted and drank our first sip straight and then added some orange juice and drank the rest as mimosas. My husband is a gentleman who let me have most of the champagne. Later that morning when his drunk bride fell in the lake after stepping into the canoe like it was the most stable conveyance ever, he made sure he asked if I was okay before he burst out laughing.

Now that we are back home I decided to mix up a batch of the punch I created for our wedding reception. I think weddings and celebrations of any sort are a good reason to create a signature drink that in some way captures the essence of the event. Our wedding color was green like Midori Liqueur. Therefore, I used Midori to create this punch:

Midori Wedding Punch:

• 1 can Minute Maid Frozen Limeade
  
• 3 of the limeade can of water
  
• 1 can Dole Pineapple Juice
  
• 1/2 liter of 7-up
  
• Enough Midori Melon Liqueur to give it a great green color
  
• Frozen honeydew melon balls and or ice ring made with limeade

Hoisting a Brownie with the Driscolls

Ever since I posted about liquor sales so far this year in Iowa, I've been curious about who in Iowa is drinking all the Black Velvet and Dr. Mcgillicuddy's Cherry Schnapps. Well, on a trip to my husband's hometown for his class reunion last weekend, I found out, and the answer surprised me.

My husband grew up in what, to me, seems like the ideal small town. The kind where the neighbors are good friends he's known all his life. I arrive in town and notice Bob and Linda Driscoll are hanging out on their porch. I've heard that their summer drink of choice is a drink they call the Brownie. I headed across the street to catch up and find out just what this drink was all about. 

They have new comfy patio furniture and a plaque on their patio with a picture of a margarita on it and the inscription "Hoist--The Driscolls."  "Hoist" is what the Driscolls say when it's time for a drink. When I told them I wanted to try a Brownie, Bob headed inside to freshen Linda's drink and make one for me. 

Bob came back with a mug of Black Velvet Whiskey mixed with unsweetened iced tea. It was very refreshing and very strong. I was feeling tipsy and talkative after just one glass, so of course I asked for another. This isn't my favorite iced tea-themed drink of the season, but I liked it, and I liked the company.

However, it was getting late. It was time for me to walk down to the town's bar, The Sundown, where my husband's band was playing. After a few songs and a few beers, I was feeling pretty good. I asked the bartender for a round of his most popular shot for me and the band. He made Cherry Bombs. Turns out Cherry Bombs are a tasty mixture of Red Bull and, you guessed it, Dr. Mcgillicuddy's Cherry Schnapps. 

When I woke the next morning with a terrible headache, I realized that, at least for that weekend, the person in Iowa drinking all the Black Velvet and cherry schnapps was me. Headache aside, I recommend both of these concoctions. As the Driscolls would say, "Hoist!"

Betty's Bar Guide

It was my mom Betty's birthday last week. So much of what I've shared with you and want to share with you I've learned from her. But since she's no longer with us, and all my attempts to share fun mom stories seem to come across as morbid to other people, I've held back. 

However, her birthday reminded me of a great gift she gave me one year. She found the Bar Guide in this picture at a junk store. Before the Bar Guide gift I'd often been disappointed with gifts from mom. But I was thrilled beyond words with this Bar Guide and just kept spinning the knob and reading off the recipes for crazy old-timey drink after crazy old-timey drink. There are 80 in all. My mom said, "I finally figured out that I can just buy you alcohol and old junk for gifts and you'll be happy." So true.

From time-to-time I will share a recipe from the Bar Guide with you. But be warned, they almost all involve raw eggs, and you need to know about things like jiggers. The definition I found for jigger is a measure of one drink of liquor.  Since most drinks call for two jiggers, a jigger glass is like the metal one shown above with the smaller side measuring one jigger and the larger measuring two jiggers. You could always just use a shot glass because it's pretty much the same thing.

Since Gin and Tonic was my mother's little helper of choice, I dialed in number 39 on the Bar Guide. Here's what it says: Place 3 ice cubes into tall highball glass. Add 2 jiggers Gin. Crush 1/2 slice lemon. Fill with Tonic Water. My mom used lime instead of lemon. I think she also used more than two jiggers of gin, but you can't blame her when she was stuck with a kid like me.

Take the Peach Tea Plunge

Back when I posted about My Kind of Arnold Palmer (re-named the Laura Palmer by clever friends), I said that drinking Jeremiah Weed Sweet Tea Vodka with lemonade was pretty much the only way I'd drink the stuff. 

Well, I was wrong. I stopped by a small town diner for lunch yesterday. I ordered the special peach tea that was "back by popular demand." It's the picture at right in the Coca-Cola glass. Notice how they added an actual peach slice to the tea? I thought that was a nice touch. 

Today an idea started to take shape in my head; I could make this at home, and I could make it into an adult beverage. So tonight I created the Peach Tea Plunge.

I know, I know, the name is not that great, but the drink is incredible. Here's how I did it:

• Mix up one packet of Crystal Light Peach Tea according to the instructions.
• Pour four cups of the tea in a pitcher.
• Add two shots of Jeremiah Weed Sweet Tea Vodka
• Add one shot of DeKuyper Peach Schnapps
• Add ice and frozen peaches
• Mix it, taste it, and add more of whatever you think it needs.
• Serve in glass with more ice and frozen peaches.

This is my new go to drink of the summer. I bet you'll like it too. And if you can think of a better name for it, let me know by commenting here.

Sex and the City

Almost every time I sit down at my laptop to write a post, I get this weird feeling that I'm Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City. It's not because I'm wearing a cute little outfit; in fact, I'm writing this in late July and yet I'm wearing my flannel halloween-themed pajama bottoms with a big grey t-shirt. It's not that you'd ever classify me as a "Carrie" in real life. I think I have the unlikely Charlotte/Miranda combo going on, in that I have longish dark hair, a big butt, and yet I'm pushy and kind of mannish. No, it's because I always want to write Carriesque sentences like the following:

I couldn't help but wonder, if real ladies drink Cosmopolitans, are the rest of us just whiskey bent and hell bound?

Now that I've gone down this path, please indulge me. I'm just going to admit that I loved SATC back in the day. I actually remember watching it at home one Sunday night (probably while wearing the same halloween flannels) and then getting dressed up in my best black cocktail dress and heading to GT (Des Moines drinking establishment) by myself. I ordered a Cosmopolitan, and when my friendly bartender Mike asked me why I was so dressed up, I lied and said I'd just come from a party.

It was fun to play girly girl during the three minutes it took me to down that Cosmo, but then Mike and I got to talking about the silly girls who think they are drinking martinis when they are really just drinking a vodka and cranberry juice in a fussy glass.

Though Sex and the City tried to be edgy and real, I think they missed the mark as far as real women and alcohol go. I'm not going to re-watch the old episodes just so I can give you specific examples. You'll have to trust me on this. 

I think real women sometimes like to drink a girly drink, but they also like to drink beer and whiskey and whatever is left in the cooler at the end of a long night. Cue music as I head to the refrigerator to get a Miller High Life. . .after all, it is the champagne of beers.

Finally, I'm not at all about people who put down SJP, but I will likely never get a better chance to share one of my favorite drinking-related jokes: Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" I think it is safe to say that I'm whiskey bent and hell bound.